Happy New Year and Happy February! You made it through the holidays, the New Year's Celebration and what can sometimes feel like a long month. I hope you are enjoying the new year with more routine than the holidays provide and maybe even a confidence of knowing that you are amazing right now! As I think of the first month of 2016 instead of think about my resolution (that I didn't set) I am trying to focus on the real gem: gratitude for my blessings and life right NOW!
Today is my first official Blog Post! You could say it is a New Year's gift to me. I am almost four years into writing blog posts; however, I have been saving them in my folder labeled "Blog." The more that I write, the more I began to realize how much sharing my story makes me feel like I am living congruently with my purpose. It feels right. My good days and good moments are often around the days I feel like moving my dream of blogging and having a website is closer to a reality. I feel like I stand a bit taller with a little extra bounce in my step when I write and share my perspective and journey. I feel giddy. Even as I type this, as I prepare to be live sooner than later, I feel like a child that just met a new friend or started a new sport or opened a new gift.
This writing thing is really happening. What else is happening? My best attempt to let go of perfectionism. As I realize I am not perfect and may never have it all together, I am finding a little bit more joy in my days and moments and I will take that. For example, this year I planned to have all of my Christmas to-dos done by Dec. 1 and I was doing things up to the last minute. However, I decided that if I cannot enjoy the process of life and I wait around to do it perfectly or be it perfectly, then I will do a lot of waiting. And that does not sound like living or any fun at all. The result was one of the best holidays I have had in years. I think the gratitude and enjoying the moments, despite not having it all together, helped tremendously.
What do I write about on my first post? I simply want to share my excitement for being here and my vision for this blog and website. First, the name of this blog is near and dear to my heart because of what I have experienced with my eating disorder and healing journey. In my own experiences through life, specifically through my battle of healing an eating disorder, gut healing and other health issues such as psoriasis, I have learned so much about myself and want to share my experiences (read more here). The current wellness world we live in right now is filled with an abundance of information on what to eat, what not to eat, when to work out, drink water, what supplements to take, etc. For someone that has gone through various diet protocols, supplements (yes, that is where our money went honey) and therapies/support, it is clear to me that there is an overwhelming amount of information and testing out there for a persons' health and vitality. This can be super helpful and healing to many. However, it can be confusing, paralyzing and difficult for many. For example, let me ask you this question: have you ever been at a restaurant where there are 150 choices for your dinner entree? What happens to your brain? My brain quickly shuts down and I typically am tempted to walk out and go home and make noodles or have ‘cereal.’ I am over stimulated by choice and have a hard time listening to what might taste good and what might be good for me on that particular day. I use this analogy to the wellness world because it can be overwhelming. Through the course of my experiences I am coming to find that the best thing I can do is to tap into my inner teacher and voice.
That is very yogi of me to say and I may have lost some of you. Stick with me. What I am saying is that YOU are in charge. YOU know what is best for YOU. You know if eating carbs makes you energized or groggy or if water with your dinner works okay with your digestion. You know how you feel when you workout too hard or not enough. You know what a shit night of sleep does for you, your mood, appetite and focus. You know what foods might bother you, make you feel energized and satisfied. You know if you can tolerate caffeine or not. Or perhaps you are like me and have ignored the internal shaking that happens when you drink caffeine. I recently weaned myself from caffeinated espresso and am down to one shot. I did this because I was sleeping horribly and my intuition led me to know that I had to stop for a bit if I truly wanted to sleep again. And yes, getting it down to one shot of espresso is a huge win for me. Note: I have gone on and off too much caffeine since I drafted this a few different times. I have yet to have a full caffeine-free day (yup, still working on this). However, the point is this, I will keep listening and allow myself to create healthy choices that feel like they support me right now.
My desire for this blog: I want you to come to my blog to begin to ask yourself little questions that help you to LISTEN to that voice inside, your inner wisdom. I want you to break the wellness rules that don’t work for you and make your own. I want to inspire you to pause and make small and big choices that are in your BEST interest. It reminds me of the marriage retreat my husband and I went to where they told us over again that the success of our marriage was dependent on taking care of ourselves FIRST and ALWAYS. If you think about it, that is pretty sound advice no matter what you are talking about: marriage, parenting, friendship, business, health, holidays, etc. It might sound selfish, but if you do not nourish YOU, then you will find yourself suffering is one capacity or another. You might be angry, or numbing or sad or confused or simply not even present. It is hard sometimes and of course some days you get more or less, but starting to know what your minimum threshold for you time is important. Even more important, once you know what you need, the biggest step is ASKING for it!
I know this is hard for me to admit, but the more that I listen AND take action the more that I find peace in my heart and am able to truly give to those in my life without resentment. This is genuine giving, living, friendships and peace in my heart.
I plan to share more of my story in the days to come. I have had tough recent years with my internal struggles and am ready to share them along with some of my daily inspirations on how to get through the winter, be creative in the kitchen, get your rear moving, and mindfulness. :) I could type, talk and write about this stuff all day long. And If I wait until I am perfect, well, you will have nothing to read at all. So onward I go. I will live my words and keep asking myself what I need on each given day and I promise you I will keep showing up.
Please take a moment today to ask yourself if you are making choices that take care of you first? Do you have something for you planned today or tomorrow? Do you feel content or angry? Do you feel resentful or at peace? Please know that there is not a perfect formula. Rather, each day we make choices and some days we do the best that we can to squeeze in time for us because it can be hard with real life. Remember it all adds up and you are worth it! And remember if you don’t like a rule, go ahead and break it. I have my own recent stories of breaking my rules and it feels so good (more on that soon)!
Thank you for reading and being you!
In love, light and gratitude,